Saturday, July 31, 2010

And you thought Lois was mental!

Superman's Rival, Mental Man!
Superman's Girl Friend Lois Lane
DC Comics
Cover Art by Kurt Schaffenberger
Script by Jerry Siegel

Story Art by Curt Swan
Number 68

There can be no doubt that one part loneliness and two parts desperation is the perfect recipe for gullibility. Throw in a tendency toward mood swings and a limitless capacity for forgiveness, and you have got yourself just about the most perfect girlfriend ever.

In Superman's Rival, Mental Man! Lois's loneliness brings her, like so many others, to artistic expression. And just in the nick of time! With the Daily Planet's readership starting to decline, what newspaper owner wouldn't look first to a comic strip to save the day?

But when Lois's own comic creation Mental Man comes to life right from the comic page, could Superman lose his chance of marriage to the woman he, well, shows no real love or respect for?

Lois, call me crazy, but Mental Man there is good looking, ripped, looks fantastic in orange and green AND wants to marry you. What is the holdup? If he has a mop of blonde hair under that cap, you've got yourself a winner!

Wishinful thinking? Clark, you're such a dick.

I sure hope you made a thorough model sheet. What a shame it is going to be if Mental Man is that hot only to be built like a Ken doll.

For years Superman has avoided proposing to me. Do you even hear yourself?

Okay, so Superman is dead but have you seen the arms on Mental Man? Meow!

Really Aquaman? You too? I'd expect that sort of thing from Batman but I always thought you were better than that.

Am I the only one that feels that Superman seems to have gone out of his way to make busting these crooks involve f---ing with Lois?

Looking for a more sophisticated, Aquacentric analysis of this story? Make sure to check out today's Aquaman Shrine!

Thanks Rob! for letting me ride your coat tails!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

The Girl that Almost Married Clark Kent!
Superman's Girlfriend Lois Lane
DC Comics
Cover by Curt Swan
Script by Robert Bernstein
Art by Kurt Schaffenberger
Number 17

We all know that there are more than enough obstacles that stand between Lois Lane and her aspiration of tricking Superman into a loving marriage. But believe it or not, there was almost one more.

In The Girl that Almost Married Clark Kent! Lois unwittingly tries to help the lovely Doris Drake, who incidentally is ALSO the Richest Girl in the World, cheat and swindle Clark Kent into marriage.

Now we all know that a little old piece of paper would never deter out girl from claiming her man, it is just one of the many reasons we love, but it would still be one more damn thing to deal with.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Superman's Nosy Neighbors Mabel and Alice

Lois Lane's Super-Risk
Superman Family / Mr. & Mrs. Superman
DC Comics
Cover by Ross Andru
Script by Cary Bates
Art by Kurt Schaffenberger
Number 195

I really think DC Comics missed the boat when they didn't give the splendid characters in today's tale their own comic. I certainly would have read it!

In Lois Lane's Super-Risk, we meet Mabel and Alice, two fashion-forward gossip hounds, most assuredly on their way to hell.

In this "Second Earth" story, while Lois, as expected, is falling off yet another building, gal-pals Mabel and Alice seem more concerned about Lois' possible infidelity then about her pending demise. And who could blame them. If we all had a nickle for every time Loise fell from a building, we'd be sitting pretty.

Far be it for me to say anything negative about Lois but it seems to me that if you spent any real time with her you'd probably stick your fingers in your ears a lot. Clark probably should have made the emergency shut off something less common.

Wow, those lovely ladies are quite endearing aren't they?