Once again Superman just makes everything worse.

The Second Superman
Superman's Girl Friend Lois Lane
DC Comics
Cover Art by Bob Oksner
Story Art by John Rosenberger and Vince Colletta
Script by Cary Bates
Number 132
1973

Okay, I actually must give Superman kudos in this story. Afraid that his relationship with Lois Lane is placing her in harms way, Superman takes it upon his self to find Lois a husband, thus severing their relationship and removing her from danger.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not giving him any credit for going to such a length to keep her safe. Though it is surprising considering what a complete selfish bastard he is. What I find amazing is that he doesn't seem to hesitate to pick her a man that is oh-so-much hotter then himself.

 

 

 

What is it about the Daily Planet that attracts these eccentric string tie wearing types? I swear his is not the first.

I just want to say here that there was a time when I worked for a big research and development organization. One of those places where you were almost as likely too see army fatigues in the corridors as you were to see lab coats. I wouldn't say it was like the Umbrella Corporation or anything but I wouldn't saying it wasn't like them either. I bring this up because all of the time I worked there, I assure, you I never saw a scientist that happening.

Breath taking indeed!

  Superman looks none too pleased.

I think the two broads on the bench should stay out of my, I mean Lois', business and get back to trying to marry off their granddaughters.

Perhaps the camera reveals a images of someone not nearly has attractive of the person you're taking the pictures of.

Yeah, we all saw this coming.

That totally blows. They finally offer up a romantic interest for Lois that I can totally get behind and they kill him off in the first story. The man even looked good while dying! Seems like a complete waste. Surely he deserved some sort of superhero spin off. Obviously there is always room for one more lab created scientist/superhero comic out there.

I'm in the WRONG business.

Lois Lane -- Queen and Superman -- Commoner
Superman's Girlfriend Lois Lane
DC Comics
Cover Art by Kurt Schaffenberger
Story Art by Kurt Schaffenberger
Script by Leo Dorfman
Number 67
1966

Back in school I had a professor try to encourage me to pursue writing as a career. I had no real interest. I had already made up my mine about the career path I planned to follow.

Well I was obviously wrong.

If I had had any idea that a career as a journalist on a big city newspaper would possibly include being asked to attend the grand opening of a wax museum AND then to try on my choice of clothes off a waxed figures back, I would have made a completely different decision.

Well, in Lois Lane -- Queen and Superman -- Commoner! our favorite girl reporter is asked to do just that.

We all know how great Lois looks in a calf-length skirt and pillbox hat, just imagine how great she'll look in a farthingale and ruff.

If the dagger is supposed to be cursed why is it on display with the a wax figures? I would think that dusty little curio shop from Friday the 13th - the series would have been a far more appropriate place.

You'll pose as King Henry VIII, who was a famous glutton! Really, that is what you're going with. Not the six wives thing? Not separating the Church of England from the Catholic Church and papal authority thing? Just the obesity. Seems a little too obvious. But, you're the reporter.

How come I don't get calls this exciting from my sister? She normally just calls to borrow something from me.

Seeing Lois in the whole Cleopatra outfit makes looking at Princess Leia in her slave girl outfit feel about as exciting as looking at your sister doesn't it boys?

I don't understand why Superman even stopped by.

As Lois' performance reaches a climax ... That's it. I just wanted to repeat that.

Ah, with your glasses off, you look handsome. Yeah, I can see how those glasses might throw you off.

Wow, I believe a very similar scenario played out after the release of Troll 2.

Lois Lane - Human Torpedo? Yeah, not really.

WANTED: One War Slightly Used!
Superman Family
DC Comics
Cover Art by Dick Giordana
Story Art by Vince Colletta
Script by Gerry Conway
Number 201
1980

Sorry for the unannounced hiatus. Since so many of you also follow my other blogs I won't bother to go into all the details here but hopefully, with the little one officially sleeping through the night, I'll finally be able to give this blog the love and attention it so desperately deserves.

Everyone already knew that Lois Lane is smart, sexy and most assuredly bipolar. With Wanted: One War Slightly Used! we also discover that she is WAY more cleaver then the U.S. Armed Forces.

Wow, there is just something SO wrong about that last panel but it does make you wonder exactly what Superman's constant rejections are all about.

See, she makes rudeness kind of hot.

If they weren't a bunch of Nazi's the idea of a submarine full of young sailors would be WAY more exciting.

Lord, those are some ugly pants.





Wow, those boys really like that torpedo.

Okay, so you were expecting something like this and the edge you gave yourself was a handkerchief?

That really sounds like a stupid plan.

Okay, so I'm still trying to get this. Years ago you discovered the existence of jewels in a torpedo now found in a museum so you concocted this elaborate plan involving stealing a submarine from another museum, learning how to drive (pilot?) that submarine and pretend time travel, all so you could get into another museum you want to steal from for free? Wow, that's cheap.

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Wow, Lois has a whole lot of crazy going on.

Lois Lane's Super-Perfume!
Superman's Girlfriend Lois Lane

DC Comics
Cover and Story Art by Kurt Schaffenberger
Script by Jerry Siegel
Number 65
1966

We all know that Lois Lane is a wee bit high strung. In fact she is, more often than not, an emotional train wreck.

In today's world Lois' combination of sexual frustration, crippling insecurity and maddening jealously would be labeled as a personality disorder and help would come in the form of a pill. But in 1966 we just call her clingy.

Thank goodness for Imaginary Stories. A chance for Lois to get a little action, live out a few fantasies, and, if we're really lucky, make Superman cry.

Seem to me that Lois turns evil pretty easily.

Am I the only one that finds it odd that the city seems to be paying off Superman not to harm them with his super strength. I thought that sort of thing was saved for dragons and King Kong.

I wonder if there are a lot of hoboes with Superman's build? And, if so, is that just a side effect of the lifestyle choice?

Is it just me, or is Luthor kind of hot in this one?

So, do the Luthor's just have these costumes hanging around or something? I have the feeling we are getting a glimpse into their personal life that we hadn't reckoned on.

"Now take your hand off me before I break it!" I wish we saw more of THIS Lois. She is my hero!

Okay, steal the Mona Lisa BUT do you have to cut it from the frame. Geez!

"I've seen plenty of rotten tricks in my time, but this is the worst!" Really, the worst. You were able to fix it in, like, ten seconds.

The henchmen are dying of radiation poisoning? That was kind of mentioned out of no where.

Hey, we can't help it, women all like the bad boy.