Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Wow, Lois has a whole lot of crazy going on.

Lois Lane's Super-Perfume!
Superman's Girlfriend Lois Lane
DC Comics
Cover and Story Art by Kurt Schaffenberger
Script by Jerry Siegel

Number 65

We all know that Lois Lane is a wee bit high strung. In fact she is, more often than not, an emotional train wreck.

In today's world Lois' combination of sexual frustration, crippling insecurity and maddening jealously would be labeled as a personality disorder and help would come in the form of a pill. But in 1966 we just call her clingy.

Thank goodness for Imaginary Stories. A chance for Lois to get a little action, live out a few fantasies, and, if we're really lucky, make Superman cry.

Seem to me that Lois turns evil pretty easily.

Am I the only one that finds it odd that the city seems to be paying off Superman not to harm them with his super strength. I thought that sort of thing was saved for dragons and King Kong.

I wonder if there are a lot of hoboes with Superman's build? And, if so, is that just a side effect of the lifestyle choice?

Is it just me, or is Luthor kind of hot in this one?

So, do the Luthor's just have these costumes hanging around or something? I have the feeling we are getting a glimpse into their personal life that we hadn't reckoned on.

"Now take your hand off me before I break it!" I wish we saw more of THIS Lois. She is my hero!

Okay, steal the Mona Lisa BUT do you have to cut it from the frame. Geez!

"I've seen plenty of rotten tricks in my time, but this is the worst!" Really, the worst. You were able to fix it in, like, ten seconds.

The henchmen are dying of radiation poisoning? That was kind of mentioned out of no where.

Hey, we can't help it, women all like the bad boy.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Don't you just want to smell her hair?

Lois Lane's Super-Perfume!
Superman's Girlfriend Lois Lane
DC Comics
Cover and Story Art by Kurt Schaffenberger
Script by Robert Bernstein

Number 68

Lois Lane looks like she would smell great! She really does. And you can't underestimate the power of scent. Whether it is an expensive cologne or chocolate chip cookies, you're going to have a reaction. (Hopefully not the same reactions because that just isn't healthy.)

In Lois Lane's Super-Perfume! Lois seems to have stumbled across the secret of Cleopatra's irresistibly.

Will Lois finally be able to claim the man of her dreams?

Good rule of thumb: Unless you're wearing fangs, NEVER say yes to pancake make-up.

Lois honey, you're just fooling yourself. It's ME your meant to be with! But don't worry. I'm patient. You'll come around eventually and I'll be waiting. ♥

Let me get this straight, millions of dollars spent on products promising to make you more appealing to the opposite sex that don't actually work. And this is different how?

Oh Superman, I hate you SO.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Lois in a Cat Suit - Enough Said!

Mystery of the Mind-Twisters!
Superman Family
DC Comics
Cover Art by Ross Andru
Script by Gerry Conway

Story Art by Bob Oksner
Number 199

Okay, so the Cat Suit on the cover might be a little misleading, only a little. But if I were to have said "Lois in an over sized pink belted mom dress with unflattering bangs" would you have been reading this right now? Probably not. But, if it is any consolation, if any one could pull of an over sized pink belted mom dress it would be Lois Lane!

And since my five year old is about to enter kindergarten to have the joy sucked right out of him, it seems to me to be the perfect time to present Mystery of the Mind-Twister!

Those were some bad ass moves Ms. Lane!

Saturday, July 31, 2010

And you thought Lois was mental!

Superman's Rival, Mental Man!
Superman's Girl Friend Lois Lane
DC Comics
Cover Art by Kurt Schaffenberger
Script by Jerry Siegel

Story Art by Curt Swan
Number 68

There can be no doubt that one part loneliness and two parts desperation is the perfect recipe for gullibility. Throw in a tendency toward mood swings and a limitless capacity for forgiveness, and you have got yourself just about the most perfect girlfriend ever.

In Superman's Rival, Mental Man! Lois's loneliness brings her, like so many others, to artistic expression. And just in the nick of time! With the Daily Planet's readership starting to decline, what newspaper owner wouldn't look first to a comic strip to save the day?

But when Lois's own comic creation Mental Man comes to life right from the comic page, could Superman lose his chance of marriage to the woman he, well, shows no real love or respect for?

Lois, call me crazy, but Mental Man there is good looking, ripped, looks fantastic in orange and green AND wants to marry you. What is the holdup? If he has a mop of blonde hair under that cap, you've got yourself a winner!

Wishinful thinking? Clark, you're such a dick.

I sure hope you made a thorough model sheet. What a shame it is going to be if Mental Man is that hot only to be built like a Ken doll.

For years Superman has avoided proposing to me. Do you even hear yourself?

Okay, so Superman is dead but have you seen the arms on Mental Man? Meow!

Really Aquaman? You too? I'd expect that sort of thing from Batman but I always thought you were better than that.

Am I the only one that feels that Superman seems to have gone out of his way to make busting these crooks involve f---ing with Lois?

Looking for a more sophisticated, Aquacentric analysis of this story? Make sure to check out today's Aquaman Shrine!

Thanks Rob! for letting me ride your coat tails!